2009
「不想回憶，未敢忘記」的香港人對「八九六四：二十周年」來得特別熾烈！
7300天前原已傷痛的感覺，加上特區政府眾多無能的人與事 (篇幅所限，不能盡錄)，再有那位姓曾的「真心話」，年輕及不年輕的人所說的廢話及冷語 … 我們除了悲痛，還有憤怒！
可是，我卻想不起我們如何經歷上一個十周年 (1999年)！也許那一年我已有太多傷心事(如母親驟然離世)，其他的沒法記起？！迅速搜尋腦海：從1989年來，我出席了多次在維多利亞公園的悼念燭光集會。比較深刻的有：1997年(回歸前的香港，那時不少人擔心回歸後可否同樣悼念)、2002年 (2001年反對通過「23條立法」如火如荼)、2003年(我們極難忘的一年!)、2004年(十五周年) 等。
1989
思潮回到7300天前的1989年：二十來歲的我在中環一所美國律師事務所當 legal secretary，是第一間在香港成立的美國律師事務所，中型公司，約四十人。我的老板P(他是consultant)是年輕時曾往越南當兵的愛國青年，其他老板 (attorneys, partners)也是那些從東岸來的保守人士，他們也許是republicans吧，還有兩位說流利普通話的美國partner。其他的律師、法律助理、翻譯有韓國人、留美中國人等，其他的秘書(有數位男秘書)、行政、司機等是本地人。
移民潮仍熱烈，發生「六四屠城」(“June 4 Massacre”)後更來勢洶洶。那段日子，我們說「屠城」(“Massacre”)，理解、認同是北京天安門廣場上的血腥、暴力、鎮壓平民學生。後來演變為什麼「事件」“incident”，看著聽著想起也光火!
五月底、六月初，我和其他同事很關心天安門廣場上的情形，每天也在談論事態發展。最深印象是吾爾後希穿著條子睡衣的可愛英俊樣子，年輕的我們覺得他比日本的偶像明星更吸引，邊看邊流淚。
所謂國家、同胞、愛國情懷 … 既遙遠又陌生。很多人仍在考慮是否移民 ─ 走或是不走？職業為“legal secretary” (尤其是international legal firm) 在澳洲、加拿大移民局可以獲得極高分。現在想起，極度後悔！都是戀愛惹的禍吧。彼時與男友J拖拖拉拉，他從澳洲完成碩士回港不久，剛經歷1987年的股災，有點兒想回澳洲，卻想在港幹一番事業，又有點兒「父母在，不遠遊」的考慮。
某天，不知誰(「支聯會」？)發起的「罷課罷工罷市」，我們仍在上班，卻沒有人有心情工作。我們的大老板 (senior partner)讓我們往會議室一起看電視報導，向我們說：“Just leave the office, no need to work. Do whatever you want for your country!”
“Country”？有點迷茫，還有八年才回歸，仍有時間考慮。
離開office (Alexandra House)，在Landmark往Swire House (現Chater House)的天橋遇上男友J的HKU同學C。她沒精打采經過，上前祝賀她與R在六月底舉行的婚禮，她幽幽地說：「看見天安門這樣子，那有心情？」，沒有丁點當六月新娘的喜悅和甜蜜。
其後，我與一些朋友去中環、維多利亞公園遊行、靜坐、抗議，喜歡從商的男友J 沒有興趣與我們同行。彼時喜歡了一位在業餘劇團認識的男孩S (駕駛 Fiat 跑車的 interior designer, so cool!)一兩年，後來聽說他在遊行、靜坐時認識了一位女孩，他們很快結婚，我也失落了好一段日子。
六月四日後整個六月，不知是誰開始，我們穿上素服，手臂纏上黑布條，為遙遠的同胞悲哀，全城的氣氛好像一下子凝固！
那個夏天，陸續有同學、同事、朋友移民，去「機場送機」繼而去九龍城食泰國菜、機場酒店喝酒看飛機升降是常見的民間活動。套用現今術語，是很「潮」的生活態度，彷彿沒有進行這活動，會被標籤為異類。
2014、2019
移民潮仍熱烈，發生「六四屠城」(“June 4 Massacre”)後更來勢洶洶。那段日子，我們說「屠城」(“Massacre”)，理解、認同是北京天安門廣場上的血腥、暴力、鎮壓平民學生。後來演變為什麼「事件」“incident”，看著聽著想起也光火!
五月底、六月初，我和其他同事很關心天安門廣場上的情形，每天也在談論事態發展。最深印象是吾爾後希穿著條子睡衣的可愛英俊樣子，年輕的我們覺得他比日本的偶像明星更吸引，邊看邊流淚。
所謂國家、同胞、愛國情懷 … 既遙遠又陌生。很多人仍在考慮是否移民 ─ 走或是不走？職業為“legal secretary” (尤其是international legal firm) 在澳洲、加拿大移民局可以獲得極高分。現在想起，極度後悔！都是戀愛惹的禍吧。彼時與男友J拖拖拉拉，他從澳洲完成碩士回港不久，剛經歷1987年的股災，有點兒想回澳洲，卻想在港幹一番事業，又有點兒「父母在，不遠遊」的考慮。
某天，不知誰(「支聯會」？)發起的「罷課罷工罷市」，我們仍在上班，卻沒有人有心情工作。我們的大老板 (senior partner)讓我們往會議室一起看電視報導，向我們說：“Just leave the office, no need to work. Do whatever you want for your country!”
“Country”？有點迷茫，還有八年才回歸，仍有時間考慮。
離開office (Alexandra House)，在Landmark往Swire House (現Chater House)的天橋遇上男友J的HKU同學C。她沒精打采經過，上前祝賀她與R在六月底舉行的婚禮，她幽幽地說：「看見天安門這樣子，那有心情？」，沒有丁點當六月新娘的喜悅和甜蜜。
其後，我與一些朋友去中環、維多利亞公園遊行、靜坐、抗議，喜歡從商的男友J 沒有興趣與我們同行。彼時喜歡了一位在業餘劇團認識的男孩S (駕駛 Fiat 跑車的 interior designer, so cool!)一兩年，後來聽說他在遊行、靜坐時認識了一位女孩，他們很快結婚，我也失落了好一段日子。
六月四日後整個六月，不知是誰開始，我們穿上素服，手臂纏上黑布條，為遙遠的同胞悲哀，全城的氣氛好像一下子凝固！
那個夏天，陸續有同學、同事、朋友移民，去「機場送機」繼而去九龍城食泰國菜、機場酒店喝酒看飛機升降是常見的民間活動。套用現今術語，是很「潮」的生活態度，彷彿沒有進行這活動，會被標籤為異類。
2014、2019
下一個五年(2014年)或十年(2019年)，1825/3650日後，除了悼念亡魂，我們可以告訴他們真正安息嗎？流氓海外的人可回家？香港的年輕人會知道這段歷史？不年輕的人會記起這道傷痕嗎？
* * *
2009
“8964: 20th anniversary” is more intriguing for Hong Kong people who are “unwilling to remember, dare not to forget”!
The wound was formed 7300 days ago. The current “truth” from that Mr. Tsang, crap speeches from other young people and not-so-young people together with some other incapable government officers … besides sadness, also anger!
However, I could not recall how we went through the last 10th anniversary (1999)! It is perhaps I have got enough condolences (my Mom passed away suddenly) thus it is harsh for me to remember other stuff?! Have a quick “brain search”: 1997 (before Hong Kong’s handover to China, many people were worried about the possibility of hosting candlelight vigil), 2002 (right after the proposed abolishment of “Article 23” in 2001), 2003 (an unforgettable year for us!), and 2004 (15th anniversary) etc.
1989
Flash back to the summer of 7300 days ago: I was working as a legal-secretary at an American law firm in Central in my early-twenties. It is the first American law firm set-up in Hong Kong, medium-sized, about 40 staff. My boss P (a consultant) is a patriotic youngster who joined the Vietnamese war. Other bosses (attorneys, partners) are kind of conservative professionals coming from the East Coast; they are probably republicans, also two attorneys who speak fluent Mandarin. Other attorneys, legal-assistants, translators are Koreans, American-Chinese together with other local legal secretaries, administration and driver.
The immigration wave was sweeping the city, it reached a climax after the “June 4 Massacre”. Whenever we said “massacre” during that period, we understood and recognized it was a dreadful massacre filled with blood and violence to those unarmed students and citizens at Tiananmen Square. It is ridiculous when it is gradually labeled as an “incident”!
Around end of May, my colleagues and I were concerned and talked about the tense at Tiananmen Square. We were mostly impressed by Wuer Kaixi (Urkesh Davlet) especially when he was wearing pajamas and talking with the government officers. We found him cute, handsome and attractive than those young Japanese idols. While watching him from TV, newspaper and magazine we could not stop our tears.
The so-called “country”, “people”, “patriotism” … so far away and strange for us. Many of us were still considering to apply for immigration – go or stay? Being a “legal secretary” could earn high score in the “occupation ranking” at Australian consulate and Canadian consulate. What a regret as I was too involved in my own love affairs! I was struggled with my ex-boyfriend J whom had just completed his master degree from Australia and gone through the 1987 stock crash. He was thinking about to go back to Australia or stay in Hong Kong to explore new opportunities, also consider about his parents.
There was one day when “Quit school, Quit work, Quit market” was initialed (probably by “Hong Kong Alliance”?), we were in the law firm, but none of us could concentrate on our work. Our senior partner let us to watch TV in the conference room and told us: “Just leave the office, no need to work. Do whatever you want for your country!”
“Country”? Still an unknown, eight years to come, sufficient time to consider.
When I left the office (Alexandra House), I met C whom is a HKU peer of my ex-boyfriend J on the foot-bridge between Landmark and Swire House (now Chater House). She looked dull, I greeted her coming wedding ceremony at the end of June. She told me in a sad tone: “I am so depressed to see what happened at Tiananmen Square.” Definitely she did not enjoy being a bride in June.
Subsequently, I went to Chater Garden and Victoria Park for rally and candlelight vigil with some friends. J did not join us as he had decided to stay in Hong Kong for developing his business. I was having a crush on a guy S (an interior designer driving a Fiat sports-car, so cool!) whom we met at an amateur drama club for one or two years. Not long after, I overheard from the drama club friends that he got married with a girl whom he met during the rally. I felt so miserable by then.
The entire month in June after 4th, not sure who started first, we were dressed in black and white, tied a black strip in our arms. We were sending our condolences to the people far away, the atmosphere seemed stuck in the city.
Following that summer, my schoolmates, colleagues, and friends left for immigration. Going to “see them off” at Kai Tak Airport, then having Thai cuisine at Kowloon City, drinking at the airport hotel and seeing the planes landing on and off was a common activity. It was kind of a “trendy” attitude, people might be regarded as aliens if they did not adopt the same.
2014、2019
“8964: 20th anniversary” is more intriguing for Hong Kong people who are “unwilling to remember, dare not to forget”!
The wound was formed 7300 days ago. The current “truth” from that Mr. Tsang, crap speeches from other young people and not-so-young people together with some other incapable government officers … besides sadness, also anger!
However, I could not recall how we went through the last 10th anniversary (1999)! It is perhaps I have got enough condolences (my Mom passed away suddenly) thus it is harsh for me to remember other stuff?! Have a quick “brain search”: 1997 (before Hong Kong’s handover to China, many people were worried about the possibility of hosting candlelight vigil), 2002 (right after the proposed abolishment of “Article 23” in 2001), 2003 (an unforgettable year for us!), and 2004 (15th anniversary) etc.
1989
Flash back to the summer of 7300 days ago: I was working as a legal-secretary at an American law firm in Central in my early-twenties. It is the first American law firm set-up in Hong Kong, medium-sized, about 40 staff. My boss P (a consultant) is a patriotic youngster who joined the Vietnamese war. Other bosses (attorneys, partners) are kind of conservative professionals coming from the East Coast; they are probably republicans, also two attorneys who speak fluent Mandarin. Other attorneys, legal-assistants, translators are Koreans, American-Chinese together with other local legal secretaries, administration and driver.
The immigration wave was sweeping the city, it reached a climax after the “June 4 Massacre”. Whenever we said “massacre” during that period, we understood and recognized it was a dreadful massacre filled with blood and violence to those unarmed students and citizens at Tiananmen Square. It is ridiculous when it is gradually labeled as an “incident”!
Around end of May, my colleagues and I were concerned and talked about the tense at Tiananmen Square. We were mostly impressed by Wuer Kaixi (Urkesh Davlet) especially when he was wearing pajamas and talking with the government officers. We found him cute, handsome and attractive than those young Japanese idols. While watching him from TV, newspaper and magazine we could not stop our tears.
The so-called “country”, “people”, “patriotism” … so far away and strange for us. Many of us were still considering to apply for immigration – go or stay? Being a “legal secretary” could earn high score in the “occupation ranking” at Australian consulate and Canadian consulate. What a regret as I was too involved in my own love affairs! I was struggled with my ex-boyfriend J whom had just completed his master degree from Australia and gone through the 1987 stock crash. He was thinking about to go back to Australia or stay in Hong Kong to explore new opportunities, also consider about his parents.
There was one day when “Quit school, Quit work, Quit market” was initialed (probably by “Hong Kong Alliance”?), we were in the law firm, but none of us could concentrate on our work. Our senior partner let us to watch TV in the conference room and told us: “Just leave the office, no need to work. Do whatever you want for your country!”
“Country”? Still an unknown, eight years to come, sufficient time to consider.
When I left the office (Alexandra House), I met C whom is a HKU peer of my ex-boyfriend J on the foot-bridge between Landmark and Swire House (now Chater House). She looked dull, I greeted her coming wedding ceremony at the end of June. She told me in a sad tone: “I am so depressed to see what happened at Tiananmen Square.” Definitely she did not enjoy being a bride in June.
Subsequently, I went to Chater Garden and Victoria Park for rally and candlelight vigil with some friends. J did not join us as he had decided to stay in Hong Kong for developing his business. I was having a crush on a guy S (an interior designer driving a Fiat sports-car, so cool!) whom we met at an amateur drama club for one or two years. Not long after, I overheard from the drama club friends that he got married with a girl whom he met during the rally. I felt so miserable by then.
The entire month in June after 4th, not sure who started first, we were dressed in black and white, tied a black strip in our arms. We were sending our condolences to the people far away, the atmosphere seemed stuck in the city.
Following that summer, my schoolmates, colleagues, and friends left for immigration. Going to “see them off” at Kai Tak Airport, then having Thai cuisine at Kowloon City, drinking at the airport hotel and seeing the planes landing on and off was a common activity. It was kind of a “trendy” attitude, people might be regarded as aliens if they did not adopt the same.
2014、2019
For the next 5 years (2014) or 10 years (2019), 1825 or 3650 days later, besides grieving those souls, can we tell them they could really “rest in peace”? Could those “fugitive” return home? Would the youngsters in Hong Kong be aware of that part of history? Would some other local adults remember that wound?
